Crazy Tool: “Peter Addison was here,” left written at crime scene.
September 6, 2007
The Crazy News has decided to bring back an old segment.
The Crazy News Tool of the Week!
In this case, it’s the crazy news tool of the month, since it’s been at least 30 days since our last tool awarding.
This time, our tool, comes from lovely Cheshire, England.
Along with the apparently fun act of robbery and vandalism, an 18-year-old burglar thought it would be a fantastic idea to write “Peter Addison was here” on a wall.
And yep, our young friend Peter, actually his real name, was soon nabbed by police.
But it does not end there.
Police who arrived to investigate the incident were stunned to find Addison’s calling card plus other messages saying: “Thanks for the Stay,” according the London’s, The Daily Mail.
They checked his details on a computer system and when they caught up with him, he was also found to be wearing a T shirt stolen during the burglary.
Police were also able to aprehend a number of other offenders with Peter at the time.
Gareth Woods from the local Cheshire Police said: “This crime is up there were the dumbest of all in the criminal league table.
“There are some pretty stupid criminals around but to leave your own name at the scene of the crime takes the biscuit. The dafetness of this lad certainly made our job a lot easier.”
It doesn’t just take the biscuit.
It takes The Crazy News Tool of the Week/Month award too!
Enjoy it Peter, enjoy….
A Wee Problem! Dwarf Gets Penis Stuck On Vacuum Cleaner.
August 21, 2007
Don’t try this at home….
A wee little sucker!
Dopey Scotish dwarf Dan Blackner, otherwise known as Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf, was rushed to hospital after practicing an on stage act at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
Festival web site here!
The crazy act involved the tiny fellow towing a vacuum cleaner with his member. An act with obviously hilarious consequences.
When Dan noticed that a part of the suction pipe had torn, he decided to use some glue to fix the problem. Instead of waiting the recommended 20 minutes for the glue to dry, he misread the recommendations and went in for a go after just 20 seconds.
Embarrasing?
Dan’s manager had to drive him to the hospital for emergency penis removal.
“I don’t know what she must have thought. She just sat there trying not to laugh. But I just felt like crying.” Dan said.
“It was the most embarrassing moment of my life. When I was wheeled into a packed A&E with a Hoover attached to my willy I just wished the ground could swallow me up.”
“Luckily the nurses saw me right away so the embarrassment was short lived.”
“It was too painful to free myself and I was terrified that if I pulled too hard I’d rip it off. The very thought left me in a cold sweat.”
His doctor added: “It was one of the most bizarre accidents I’ve ever seen — and I work with a freak show. He phoned me in a panic. When he said what happened, I didn’t believe him. Luckily the nurses soon freed him.”
Freak Out!
Some crazy unrelated videos from the Edinburgh Fringe!
It’s an illusion…..
Crazy Street Acts….
These ladies can Fringe my Festival…
British Lady Endures 20 Hours Being on Hold!
August 18, 2007
A crazy customer of British communication services company BT was left with the hold music on for a total of 20 hours.
The tenacious 51-year-old woman from Wales called the company helpline after a phone technician failed to turn up to install a phone line in her new home.
For 8 hours, she endured the sounds of the call centre hotline hold music, described as ‘piped music’, along with a recorded message that broke in at regular intervals. Most likely telling her how much BT valued her as a customer. On and on and on it went.
The clearly bored woman gave up and tried again for another 8 hours the next day.
“I was so frustrated and angry I broke down in tears,” she told media.
“It is a helpline for goodness’ sake, surely a company as big as BT can answer their phones.”
The big Telco was contacted by media and was forced to apologise.
“BT would like to apologise for the length of time this customer was left on the phone,” a BT spokesman said.
Media Targets for Criticism Over Boob Job Prizes.
August 15, 2007
Nip ‘n Tuck.
Boob’s, boobs, boobs!
Recent media competitions in both the UK and Australia in which boob jobs are being given away as prizes have been the target of criticism from plastic surgeon associations and governments alike.
In the UK, an FM radio station gave away a boob job to jubilant 27-year-old Nadine Pude who said she would buy “loads of new underwear and a bikini that really shows off my assets.”
The excited young lady won the competition by the radio station’s web site viewer’s choice, with 22% of the vote. She appeared in a video on a section of the Liverpool based, Juice FM website, jucetube.net
“I couldn’t believe it when I won, it was out of this world.
“I’m happy with my height, my waist, and my weight. But I always thought I was lacking a ’bit up top’.
“My fiance, Paul, was brilliant. He always said that if it made me happy, I should get a good job and save for a boob job”.
I’m sure he would say that.
“But now I’ve won the competition, he can’t wait to get his hands on them,” the ditzy Pude said.
I bet the fiance can’t wait.
Surgeon’s Not Happy
But the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons was not impressed, despite the publicity for their industry.
“The giving of a surgical procedure as a prize is an unbelievable, dangerous and highly unethical practice.
“The decision to perform any surgical procedure must be based on common sense, case selection, good surgical decision making and patient safety,” an angry Adam Searle from the BAAPS told reporters.
Controversy Down Under
Jealous old bag, Helen.
The “win a boob job for your girlfriend” competition, held by the Australian arm of weekly men’s magazine Zoo, copped some flack from the Australian Minister for Communications Helen Coonan.
“The minister certainly sees that this is an example of very poor taste and to women it would also be considered to be very offensive and she has directed ACMA to look into the matter,” a spokesperson for the Minister said.
The New South Wales state government, where Zoo Magazine Australia is based in Sydney, said it was looking into the local Lotteries and Art Unions Act, which forbids anyone from offering cosmetic surgery as a prize.
But Zoo denied the competition was illegal, saying it had found a loop hole of sorts.
“The winner will get a cheque for $10,000. If they choose to spend it on surgery they can. We’ve checked out all the legals. It’s not breaking any rules.”
The competition, as in the United Kingdom, was the target for criticism from the Australian Society of Plastic Surgeons; who said the competition breached a number of trade practices and ethical guidelines.
The moral of the story?
If you want to successfully publicise your radio station and or magazine, boost your ratings and circulation?
Run a boob job competition.
It’s so simple.
Now, I’m off to get my copy of Zoo!
Go on, tell the world! 
