The Crazy News Blog

Le snake, containing fur balls.

Talk about making a meal of it.

“When I came out of the house the cat’s legs were hanging out of its mouth”

That’s what January Clay, a resident of Australians northern state of Queensland said she saw after she let her pet cat explore outside her home for half an hour.

The mouth she was talking about belonged to a 3 meter long python that was clearly in a mood for food around the 5am hour, when Ms Clay let her cat roam outside.

And despite the loss of her beloved pet cat, talking from her Cairns home, February was philosophical about her loss. I mean January.

The Cains Post:

it’s just nature, he was just doing what he normally does. My cat was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

The python eventually left of its own accord.

Ms Clay’s attitude is in stark contrast with some other Cairns residents, who have recently played a role in bludgeoning several native species including pythons and a crocodile to death.

Tropical Wildlife Protection president Anthea McAllan applauded Ms Clay’s actions.

I definitely do commend her for not doing anything to the snake,” Ms McAllan said. “They’ve got their place in the ecosystem and it’s important that we respect that.”

She said the best thing to do was to keep cats indoors or build a snake proof enclosure to avoid such a tragic event.

Time to spin that globe and experience yet another edition of….

The Crazy News: Quick Quotes.

Abdul says you aint seen nothing yet.

Serbia

“Only an idiot would jump into the bear cage.”

A director of the Belgrade Zoo discusses the half eaten body of a 23-year-old man found with the bears. It appears the man had stumbled in from the grounds of a nearby beer festival being enjoyed by the local population. Several mobile phones were found inside the cage, as well as bricks, stones and beer cans. Go figure.

UAE

“In 2015 I will be 68 years old and will have 100 children.”

Abdul Rahman, a one legged Emirati father of 78, talks up his hopes of hitting the magic century mark. The 60-year-old man whore currently has 15 wives, but wants to knock up at least 2 more in the next few years. Apparently Islam allows men to marry up to four women at a time. Abdul uses government funds to support the family. You can probably thank the oil for that.

Australia

“I’d say it’s probably been playing, or it may be even a sexual sort of thing.”

A police detective from Queensland state speculates as to why a woman, who had been given a camel for her 60th birthday, was crushed to death by the pet at her family’s sheep station/ranch. It apparently knocked her to the ground, laid on top of her, and displayed a suspicious mating behaviour. Eeep.

Finland

“It’s particularly significant because well defined tooth imprints were found on the gum.”

A professor to a 23-year-old archaeology student discusses the find of what is being described as the world’s oldest piece of chewing gum, estimated at 5,000 years, yum! The student for the Scotland was on a dig centred in an area frequented by Neolithic era humans when she came across the lump of birch bark tar. She also found an amber ring and an arrow head. How interesting.

UK

“The defendant pointed the vibrator in the bag at Mr Vakani and warned him to back off.”

A Leicester court prosecutor details to a jury how a man held up a betting shop using his girlfriend’s vibrator as a weapon of intimidation. The manager of the shop handed over more than £600 in cash to the man, who the British media have dubbed The “Rampant Rabbit robber”. He was sentenced to 5 years prison.

What can I say to that? Sex toys as weapons?… it’s a crazy world people, it’s a crazy world.

 “Give me all your money or I’ll…”

Go on, tell the world!

 Nip ‘n Tuck.

Boob’s, boobs, boobs!

Recent media competitions in both the UK and Australia in which boob jobs are being given away as prizes have been the target of criticism from plastic surgeon associations and governments alike.

In the UK, an FM radio station gave away a boob job to jubilant 27-year-old Nadine Pude who said she would buy “loads of new underwear and a bikini that really shows off my assets.”

The excited young lady won the competition by the radio station’s web site viewer’s choice, with 22% of the vote. She appeared in a video on a section of the Liverpool based, Juice FM website, jucetube.net

“I couldn’t believe it when I won, it was out of this world.

“I’m happy with my height, my waist, and my weight. But I always thought I was lacking a ’bit up top’.

“My fiance, Paul, was brilliant. He always said that if it made me happy, I should get a good job and save for a boob job”.

I’m sure he would say that.

“But now I’ve won the competition, he can’t wait to get his hands on them,” the ditzy Pude said.

I bet the fiance can’t wait.

Surgeon’s Not Happy

But the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons was not impressed, despite the publicity for their industry.

“The giving of a surgical procedure as a prize is an unbelievable, dangerous and highly unethical practice.

“The decision to perform any surgical procedure must be based on common sense, case selection, good surgical decision making and patient safety,” an angry Adam Searle from the BAAPS told reporters.

Controversy Down Under

Meanwhile, politicians from Australia said they were not happy at a boob job competition from a local magazine.

Jealous old bag, Helen.

The “win a boob job for your girlfriend” competition, held by the Australian arm of weekly men’s magazine Zoo, copped some flack from the Australian Minister for Communications Helen Coonan.

“The minister certainly sees that this is an example of very poor taste and to women it would also be considered to be very offensive and she has directed ACMA to look into the matter,” a spokesperson for the Minister said.

The New South Wales state government, where Zoo Magazine Australia is based in Sydney, said it was looking into the local Lotteries and Art Unions Act, which forbids anyone from offering cosmetic surgery as a prize.

But Zoo denied the competition was illegal, saying it had found a loop hole of sorts.

“The winner will get a cheque for $10,000. If they choose to spend it on surgery they can. We’ve checked out all the legals. It’s not breaking any rules.”

The competition, as in the United Kingdom, was the target for criticism from the Australian Society of Plastic Surgeons; who said the competition breached a number of trade practices and ethical guidelines.

The moral of the story?

If you want to successfully publicise your radio station and or magazine, boost your ratings and circulation?

Run a boob job competition.

It’s so simple.

Now, I’m off to get my copy of Zoo!

Go on, tell the world!

 Don’t look down!

Crickey!

In the true stereotypical Aussie spirit of Steve Irwin and Crocodile Dundee, a 54-year-old Australian man has spent seven nights up a tree over a crocodile infested swamp in the isolated Cape York Peninsula in Australia’s tropical north.

The man who works and co-owns a massive cattle station (ranch), called Silver Plains, was stalked by two massive crocodiles for the entire ordeal, who were waiting patiently for the man to make a slip and fall into the infested nest below.

“Every night I was stalked by two crocs who would sit at the bottom of the tree staring up at me,” David George told Aussie media.

“All I could see was two sets of red eyes below me and all night I had to listen to a big bull croc bellowing a bit further out.

“I’d yell out at them, ‘I’m not falling out of this tree for you bastards’.”

The cavalier bushman left the station homestead on horseback intending to spend a few nights out in the scrub for maintenance duties, when just before dawn on the second day he had a fall when riding, experiencing a heavy knock to the head.

The stockman managed to get back on his horse, but was too disorientated to know exactly which way to go and his ride ended up taking him into thick croc infested swamp land.

“Doing that I hit my arm and my head and was sort of half-dazed,” Mr George said.

“Then I got back on the horse … I let the horse go, knowing he’d take me home.

But his horse was not as smart as he had assumed.

“When I realised where we were, we were about a kilometre into the swamp.”

Once in the thick of it David decided to get off as the soggy ground was making it tough for the horse to move, and found himself stumbling though the marshy terrain when he came across a croc nest.

When he changed directions to flee, he soon came across another nest, and it was then that he realised that he was in serious trouble.

One tough Bloke.

Deciding that he could not lead the horse out safely without risking his own life, he left the doomed horse and made a be-line for a nearby tree and played the waiting game.

“I took the stirrup leather off and strapped myself to the tree,” he said.

“I knew I could either stay put and wait to be rescued, or venture out and chance being eaten by a croc.

“Every night from the second night on I could hear a bull croc bellowing out, and each night he seemed to be getting closer.”

Later, a search and rescue mission began, where helicopters regularly passed over the top of his position, but the bush was way too thick for crews to spot him.

The scrub was that thick they could not see me through the foliage. It was very frustrating – they flew within 20 feet (6m) of me at one stage,”

He was eventually found by an Australian Army chopper crew, and winched to safety.

He was taken to hospital with nothing but a few scratches and a serious bout of hunger.

It was unkown what happened to the horse, but one can assume it became a tasty treat for the friendly fresh water crocs. 

See our man here…

I prefer the real Crocodile Dundee.

That’s not a knife… That’s a lame youtube video.

Go on, tell the world!